canto zero: winter winds.
Iraj's head stared up at Fereydun,
eyes replaced with pearls from the sea of marmara,
his tongue thick with ambergris rolled out,
and he mouthed "forgive me father for i loved too
much".
my lips pulled at yours like barbed wire,
i remain infantile like tetsuo shima.

Hello My Former Friend,
im not sure how to begin this,
hi!, im sorry i stabbed you.
i understand you are dating someone new,
someone who you can sing sidney gish to.
[i] wish to inform you that i saw my impacts reflected [in]
acts directed against my wife by digital unaware predators.
{with double prayer heavenward fired, sitting at local
synagogue}
my wild dog bite doesnt seem so dull anymore,
{liquor store acting as solitudinarian motel, burn down}
shakedown of trauma recount, breakdown caused by
remembering.
style resembling (read this in a) lofi math rock, daniel
johnston tricot.
[i] inhibit saying “i think i know how i hurt you” by
quoting queer novella
{near odessa russian rockets land}
{fossil sand from Ginga Tetsudō no Yoru flows from my
hand}
triad smuggling my best regards to those i loved
desired the best for you, turns out i unleashed pygmalion
impulses,
instances where i accidentally recreated “things have
gotten worse” plotline.
wine molestation theater causes catharsis

narcisse machine is me, 昔語るし
azuma would be horrified at what i say to my love,
“明日はどこから 生まれてくるの... 私を呼んでいる”
“since we last talked”: forgive me for asking, how have
things been?
years been odd, poetry is akin to freudian free association,
{brazen antediluvian attitude, wearing east berlin stasi
uniform solely for tetrapod sort of fun}
I am still, unsure, how to say what I need to say.
How have things been?,
Are you happy?,
Are you warm?,
Are you well fed?,
Do you still dissociate at grocery store milk walls?,
closely held secret hate ★ 血壺 (checked, level).
Are you like me and get mad at strip malls?,
dryad fruit cooked by dwarf ★ 蒸首 (level, rising).
[woke from dreaming - the delgados].
blood streaming never really stops.
Have you cut off that one “friend” from your childhood?,
amend neon inn sin ★ 寨迷 (checked level).
Do you want to take my bones and use/turn them like
briarwood?,
stones
{Pretty puppy pipe, better use for me than ever I could}
If I may ask, what have you been drawing of late?,

Do you ever hear the dead, see flickers of me, and feel hate?,
{The dead really are grateful to us i swaer}
Are you dressing the way you want to?,
Is this world/girl one you outgrew?,
Are some once favorite songs now draped in my shadows?,
Do you want to take aim at me and unleash thine arrows?,
What can I do to make it all slightly more right?,
When remembering do you find it hard to write?,
Did you ever start estrogen?,
Did you feel like a specimen?.
If you did then im sorry to done so, but please sit here and
smell the night jessamine.
[cassette clicks in, october eighth 2024, at a friend's place,
tape deck hisses].
some of this was composed of lies, thats the nature of poetry,
some amount of this was written while on nitrous oxide,
some of it composed while i was too tired for my mind to
work, some when i was filled with love. i think some of it was
written in an attempt to make you want to forgive me, i think
some of it was written in an attempt to make you want to kill
me. this could be longer. it could extend to an entire book.
but it wont. it's been nearly eleven months since i was
informed i hurt you; jewish thought holds that it takes eleven
months for a soul to travel through sheol. i do miss you i
think. i miss a lot of people. it will take a lot longer than
eleven months for me to travel through sheol. i think youd
like some of the people ive met, youd probably like lily. im
not sure youd like my wife audrey, shes not really my wife,
but shes not not my wife, but i cant imagine life without her.

i have spent a lot of time making art, working through my emotions and thoughts. it's... something terrible to realize that you hurt someone who you once promised youd lay your life down for. i think. i think i wanted to make an epic to give to you. that way i would have something to keep working on, to make it so i dont have to admit it's at the end. i still dont want to admit that it's done. i want to be friends again. to explain, to heal, to mend. i think i will keep feeling that way for a long time. im not sure how you feel. youre a mystery still. im sure you will carry the hurt i gave you for a long time. i dont think you will open your lips to let loose what you should. i listened to atta girl by heavenly today, a recommendation by my wife. i think youd connect to it. now, im going to go think about holding my wife and watching the xfiles with her.

goodnight ††††††,

see you around.

Henrietta lifts her
gun and fires.
[the light before we land - the delgados].